“Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.” -Raymond Lindquist
I feel a shift.
I have been working on a new series of work. I have at least 6 paintings currently laying around in my studio in various stages. More ideas are scribbled in sketchbooks and many notes and photos have been accumulating for references on my phone and computer. I have run around my town shooting places and people and I thought I knew where I was going with this new series.
But… I feel a shift.
This has happened before. A restlessness that what I am doing is not enough. That my time at the easel is spent spinning my wheels. Oh yes, I do not know exaclty where my art is headed sometimes.
My son-in-law is a sailor. And the dexterity one needs to control a sailboat amazes me. I have been onboard a large sailboat that he has flat-out skimmed at full speed across the water, dashing over thousands of jellyfish, causing my hair to whip around my face and I have also seen him maneuver the sails to quietly slide the behemoth gently up against a dock.
It is a series of slight shifts. Adjustments and corrections. The pace both fast and slow.
So it is with my paintings. Somedays I am hell- bent on success and it works. 4 hours fly by and I can almost feel my hair whipping around. Some days are quiet and tiny marks are all I can generate to sculpt, carve and create. But lately I sense a need to shift beyond what I already know.
I feel a change in the air. I am not sure if it is my age and I no longer stress over what other people think or…..nope….. yeah, I think that’s it. I know I don’t care as much what other people think anymore.
Its a beautiful thing. I used to hear my grandmother say that she had lived long enough (into her nineties) that she had earned the right to say whatever was on her mind. (and trust me, sometimes it was not pretty) But it was authentic. It was who she was.
My art is who I am. I have known it since I was very tiny and just beyond being able to read. And as I have gotten older and painted and learned and painted some more I still have this niggling feeling in the back of my skull that I have to please others- that I have to have their approval.
But now my restlessness is my own. It is a search for authenticity in its purest form. And sometimes I don’t know exactly what that looks like, so I am course-correcting. Adjusting my sails. Gently sensing the wind.
I had a good friend tell me once that although he liked my kintsugi paintings, he could not wait to see what I would do after them.
Yeah, me too.
But I’m not worried that I don’t know exactly where I am going. Or exactly how to get there. I just know I will find my compass and the wind will pick up again and then it will be smooth sailing.
Thanks for your honest and authentic sharing.
You are welcome!
” The unexamined life is not worth living. ”
Love that you keep searching your heart & have not become complacent.
Must be in the DNA of creative people. I personally get bored easily and keep looking for inspiration to be artful in another way.
Yeah, I don’t understand artists that are content with creating the same thing over and over again because it sells. Im too restless.
Love these. Thank you.
😀
I love your poetic images almost as much as your paintings, Christine!
Thank you! I just start writing and it flows. I actually didn’t even know what I was going to write about last night until I came across the quote at 10pm. Then started writing about that feeling- not frustration, but just feeling a change coming- then it reminded me of sailing and well, it just comes together each week. 😀
Thank you for your wise words, Christine. This piece really resonates with me. I know when I’m “spinning my wheels” and can also feel when a “shift” is percolating. You continue to validate how I feel about my own process and I appreciate all that you share with us.😊
So cool Im not alone. 😀
Christine,
That’s a beautiful feeling, the restlessness, the shift. I’ve been painting for a dozen years in retirement just for the sheer joy.
The shift occurs every few years and work is different.
Come paint in plein air. It’s like sailing.
Im in!
It is so comforting, so much a sense of freedom, to not really care what others think of me. As a person, sibling, or as an artist. It took a long hard time to get to this point. I too love the feeling of euphoria when someone comments on what I happen to be doing. Whether or not it’s my classes, artwork or just being me. And that’s the rub. Being me. I don’t like “me” always, but I do like not caring what others think. Only me. I know when my art work is not going well. I don’t need someone to tell me that. I do have a few that will be brutely honest, and I do appreciate it. I trust their opinion. But when I freely perform, it just works. I don’t try to please others just to get kudo’s. And yes my mouth gets me into trouble more than often. I am my own worst enemy at times. I can relate to your blurb here. The wind in my sails are for me to accept and manipulate. Can’t wait to see what you come up with.
Amen. Hugs my friend.
I was so touched by your poetic words that I sent it to one of our daughters, who is “stuck“ in life, and I hope that your words will stir an adventurous spirit in her! And I needed to hear that message, too, because I get stuck and need to free my art spirit!! Thank you for sharing that. We’re looking forward to seeing where your shift takes you!
Oh wow! Thanks for the huge compliment of sharing. Best wishes to you both. Stay tuned. I feel good things simmering….
Learning is my mojo!! I too am old enough to not care much what others think about me or my art. I have not found my voice in art yet and am not comfortable with what I am journeying into presently, but I am learning so I am content. I hope to produce a finished piece in my new medium. That is my goal. I have been frozen for several yrs. due to health issues but those are getting behind me and I await at the starting gate waiting to be set off! I enjoy your comments ever so much. Thank you.
I am so glad you are better and diving back into painting. Thanks for sharing!!!
Awesome! I can feel your hair whipping around. Great story.
Thanks! May the wind be strong for you my friend!
Hi Christine. You have guided me along my journey in art from the time I first met you ! I read your post and wanted to share that I, too, am struggling with my path forward. I want to finish the work I’ve promised and then let the wind whip around my face, too ! I have become bored and my work shows that. I have ideas that are more creative and can’t wait to pull the rip cord and fly away ! I think of you so often. You are still the voice in my head when I’m at my easel. I can’t thank you enough, you are a wonderful teacher !
Aww Teresa! I am so glad I was able to mentor you and more so I am happy we became friends. Yes getting restless with a work shoes. You cant fake passion. I know you will get back to creating beautiful works. Hugs!!