A glimmer in the void.

To an artist, that is what a sale, a compliment, an invitation to an exhibition or an award is… a happy twinkle.

Because we work alone. Yes, we can create among others in a class or in a workshop, but the real brain-drain comes when we look at that white canvas in front of us and fight it into submission. Alone.

So when an idea or image comes to fruition and then it gets a nod from ones’ peers, I feel like someone has tapped me on the shoulder from a daydream. I look around, blinking, and think, “ok, I am on the right track.”

Yesterday I received an email announcing that I had won 4th place in the “Pastel 100” International Competition hosted by the Pastel Journal Magazine which publishes the top 100 images of the year in the medium of pastel. And I got a tiny thrill. I believe I have been a part of this competition at least 15 times now. I have lost track, really. I paint, create, teach, fight, swear, screw up. alter, revise and leap out on a limb with work every month. Some successful and some not. So when an image gets recognized in such a big way (there are normally thousands of entries from all over the world each year) it is a tiny light in the tunnel of formation.

I am not supposed to post the image online, but I believe in my personal blog it is ok. This model I met in Portland while my son was at Nationals for rock climbing this past Spring. Sitting in a shaft of light, I was struck- simply struck- by the beauty and graphic nature of her pose. I asked her if I could take a few photos and paint her. She seemed quiet and contemplative. The angles of her body and the strong light shaft flowing down on her made me know I would paint something that was a little outside of what I normally do, and that it was a good thing. I went a little crazy with pushing the shadow hues and playing with “power” unlike ever before. (thank you Roches) It is definitely more painterly than I normally create. It feels harsh and yet soft. Realistic and yet graphic.

I like it.

I first posted this a few weeks ago and got some push back on my title, “Shafted.” but I like it. A little edgy. A little snarky, and yet literally what is happening. Her gaze made me think she was contemplating something not quite pleasant. A betrayal? A bad lunch? A boring afternoon? I like the ambiguity.

So I am happy for my little glimmer of light in the tunnel of being an artist. I truly believe no award makes a painting great. No sale, no matter how big, makes the artist good. But it is nice to be acknowledged as competent. (plus the artist-child in me wants to kick ass.)

Back to work.

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