Ever get to a place in a painting and you think it is “good”, but know that it is not enough?
That is where I am at with my son’s painting. It felt nearly finished from photos, but knew I needed sessions with him from life. Outside. In the sun.
And so the fear sets in.
In the sun the color is more subtle and gorgeous and what I call “unreplicate-able” – yeah, that’s a word…. It means to me that what I am seeing can not be exactly copied. Only approximated. There were more subtle yellow and pinks. The light changed as the sun shifted behind a cloud. He is slightly moving while breathing.
But I felt the image was stiff before and I was not content with it. And although it is hard to paint over areas that I have labored over up until this point, I knew I had no choice but to try to attack it “in the moment.”
No one has courage like an artist. We wear our heart on our sleeves. We show what we like and dislike to the world. What we see and how we interpret it. What we struggle with and what we aspire to create. It is fearless. But not without fear.
So here on the left is the painting as of last week. And how it appears now on my easel after a few outdoor sessions. (credit to my son- after all, it is summer in South Carolina and he never complained about craning his neck back in the hot sun.)
I had wanted to have a big “ta da!” moment in a final blog on this journey with this painting, but it is not happening this week. I still have to address the weeds, shift the color of his skin in the sun to more of a blue-ish cast and I changed and need to double-check some of the shadowed shapes on his head. His mouth got wiped out and now I need to build it back. I need a few more sessions. Oh well, that is life. And art.
And speaking of life, I believe it is more life-like now. Working straight from a model helps so much. His hands and chest are more accurate and he corrected me that the white chalk would never be on the back of the hands, so I adjusted that. He also said there would be more dust up the palms, so I added chalk to the palm in the dark.
I still feel like it has so much potential. I still love the narrative and his gaze. I am trying to loosen up my handling of this medium and get it to feel alive. This simple pressure I put on myself.
It is what I do.
A few more sessions and I hope it will feel like I want it to exist. Until then, I will have to take a break- my son and I are flying out to Portland, Oregon where he will be competing at the USA Rock Climbing National Competition. Only two years climbing and he is among the top 48 men in the 18-20 age category in the Nation! So proud. So the blog will be back in two weeks.
Until then, what do you think of the before and after?
Something doesn’t seem quite right about the area of his left hand (our right). Looks like he has something like a trowel or some tool in his hand. Maybe he does? Love the skin tones.
Hmm. Thanks! Yeah, I have to finish that off. The chalk bag is a weird thing to paint. I will really study his hand in the next session. Thank you.
I absolutely LOVE the paragraph you wrote starting with “No one has courage like the artist.” It’s so true that we throw ourselves out there when we try to convey what we see/feel about a subject. The joy comes when others “get” what we’re trying to say. I live for that!
Me too! Thats why I love other artists so much.
Such is life. I am still scared to start
A painting.
lol. Where is his ear bud!
Lol.
Yes, much better color and more life in it now. Ironically softening this image of a strong man makes your image stronger.
I agree! Lovely way to say that.
Thanks!
I love how much more muted, yet real it looks. Beautiful.
Thanks!
I know he isn’t climbing at the moment but isn’t the chalk bag typically hung from a belt?
Typically. But not always. They do “chalk up” before a run and in indoor climbing the routes are more like puzzles and shorter so they don’t need to take it with them. When he is outdoor climbing he does shorter routes also with crash pads and no harness so he doesn’t take the bag with him on routes.
My son too is a climber, based in Chattanooga but he has traveled to Utah, Colorado and even New Zealand. He does bouldering with crashpads and has a small climbing wall in his garage, and yes, it is all about the puzzles.
I’ve been told that there is no such thing as an “important” piece and everything else I do. They are all important. I do agree with that to an extent. But I have to say, I beg to differ. To me an important piece is one that says something I want to say. Not just something to help others see what a process is. I may take hours, or days to finish an “Important” piece. Whereas I really am not even careful on those others. These important pieces may only be small as 5×7. or as large as 22x 45. I love that I am not the only one that has fears to overcome. Those important pieces give me butterflys until I am completely satisfied with my “plan”. I am not Gods gift to the art world, I don’t pretend to be. But I do have fun, I do create, I learn, I teach, I live. Have a good time and tell your son, “Good Luck”. But I really do think he may not need it.